Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Worst . . Movie . . . .Ever
That's right, I've got a new standard for the worst movie ever. When I say that, I mean worst movie that I've seen. I'm sure there are plenty worse, but not that I've actually been talked into watching. In order for a movie to be this bad, it has to be so bad that it's not even fun to make fun of. Anaconda was a dog, but it was a riot to laught at. Each of the movies described below have no real plot to speak of, only a general premise that never developed. The first movie to definitively set that mark for me was Hope Floats. Hope Floats had an interesting premise, but was just excruciatingly painful to watch. Then, two hours into the movie five different plot lines have emerged. And then, in one non-sensical swoop, the movie ended. No resolution to the various plot lines, just a thinly veiled attempt to cover up the fact that they had run out of time, but not figured out how to end the movie cleanly. It's not that I hate romantic comedies. I loved Notting Hill. Love, Actually is (actually) one of the films in my top 10. Next came Happy Feet. What a fuster cluck that was. I envisioned the writing process beginning with a loose idea of penguins suffering from global warming. Then came a series of non sequitirs. It feels like after the initially session where everyone got an idea of a theme, each writer then moved into a cave and wrote their part in complete isolation. The ideas were then thrown together and animated. They figured animation would cover up all sins and Global Warming was popular enough of a cause that people would over look the fact that the movie was a steaming pile of terd because it was about global warming. It's not that I don't like animated films, Shrek (only the original) was great, as was Monsters, Inc. Then came along a little romantic comedy entitled "The Wedding Date." Apparently, a big time movie exec has a penchant for spoiling his young daughter. The Wedding Date feels like it was plotted by a fourth grader and her friends who were asked to think of the perfect 'chick flick.' What if a guy dumped a girl. And what if the guy that dumped her dumped her for her sister. Oh yeah, and what if she never found out. She could find out at a wedding. . . . It was all over the place. Not even the potentially humorous parts delivered. The acting and directing were atrocious. I dare you to watch this. For me, The Wedding Date is now the worst . . . movie . . . .ever.